radiation.

I decided that I should post all the updates in one long blog. Instead of doing one by one. So they will be updated here. And thank you to all that read this daily.

DAY Two :

*Okay so, today was day one of the 42 day treatment that she has to have done.
*She is now getting radiation treatments on her chest for her skin cancer. The doctors say that this treatment will work. But the ONLY drawback is that the radiation will basically peel all the skin and tissue off her chest!
*So every day at 9am for the next 6weeks she will be driving to another city to get a 5-15 minute procedure done on her chest, and hope and pray that this will work.
*I actually hope that this treatment will work. Because the skin cancer that she has on her chest is so bad looking, I cant even begin to describe what it looks like. I will try.. bare with me.. It looks like a machine gun shot her over and over again and then the holes filled up with a puss like substance and scabbed over and then welted to the size of mini golf balls. and larger! so.. yeah, imagine the pain that she is in every single day .. and night. Not being able to wear a bra, and having to wear pads on her chest because the oozing from the wounds is so bad that she cant just let it be without padding because it will leak all over her shirt.
*So, I hope that this treatment will soon work..and she will be out of pain from this damn skin cancer. Because the breast cancer is being controlled with so many medications and pain medications.. and were hoping that the chemo pill is working like its supposed to be doing. *She will have blood work drawn again this week to see how her counts are.
*One thing that I cannot stand is that my mother is somewhat of a hermit because she doesn't like when people look at her.. when she is out.. It makes me so mad that people are so god damn ignorant.. that they ALWAYS have to LOOK at her and see that she has NO hair and is wearing a scarf on her head, or a hat or something to cover up.. and people look at her like she is doing something so outrageous.. and its not.. she just doesn't feel the need to show EVERYONE that she has NO hair... why should she?
*Her arm swells so bad because the blood clots that are in her lymph nods and they travel down and up her arm and make it swell beyond belief... and she cant walk around for a long period of time because her arm will start to swell and she will not be able to move it after a while.... and people stare.... why?
*Why do people judge others before they judge themselves?
*Why do people always think that because someone doesn't have hair they automatically have cancer?
*Why do people stare at people that don't look like them?
*Why do people always have to stick their noses where it doesn't belong?
*Why do people always ask me..after my mother isn't around.... :
IS SHE OKAY? IS SHE DYING ? HOW BAD IS IT? WILL IT GO AWAY?
why not be BOLD and ask my mother to her face.. why don't you ask her is she okay? does she need help? would she like anything out of the ordinary to be done?
etc......
*Ugh.. sometimes I just wonder why... why did GOD create this god damn cancer and not make a damn pill to cure it like the common cold or something like that?
*Its sad to hear my 7year old daughter say that she WILL CURE CANCER ONE DAY.. because she is tired of people in her life dying from it..
*Its sad to know that my daughters will NOT be able to be around my mother for the rest of her life because I know that this monster will soon take her if there is no miracle pill found soon..
*I know that its bad to say that.. but my grandmother who is in her 70's confided in me a few weeks ago and said:" Lisa.. I shouldn't have to bury my daughter and I have a feeling that I will soon.. maybe not this month or next or even in a few months.. but soon enough"
*That's just sad to even think about..
**I cant even...
****[okay I'm done i cant even type any more about this]
******sry-

Day Three/Four :

*Well yesterday [Tuesday] was my mothers second day of radiation treatment.. and it didn't go as planned.. only because I got a phone call from my grandmother at 10:30am and she said.. you need to go get your mother! I am freaking out like why what happened..? and she said that my mother was stranded on the side of the road because the cars transmission was shot! [dead] and that i needed to go find her and get her.**I was so nervous because I do NOT know anywhere around here.. I am a person that gets lost in my own town never mind driving miles and miles away.. and my grandmother goes.. get on 16 to 146 and I am like wtf is that.lmao.!!!**anyhow.. i go and find her.and the sherrif is there with her and waiting with her thank god.. **i get her and bring her home.. and for the next few days i have to take her to her treatments..and the shitty thing is that they only take 5 minutes.. and to drive all the way there is about 30+ minutes.. and to get 5 minutes of treatment is crazy.. but I will do whatever it takes to help her.

**so that was Tuesday...

*Wednesday I took her and it was a long drive in cow country... lol...**and we got there and riley was in heaven because they had a huge fish tank.lol.and a water fountain and shes a sucker for those two things!**and within a few minutes the treatment was over and we were on our way back to Newark..**and so far so good. she is tired from the treatments, but we wont really know how well they are working until a few weeks because the radiation has to take effect.**so i will keep you updated as I know whats going on.**thank you to all that are keeping updated on my mothers condition as I write it all down on here..

**thank you.. thank you... <3

Day Five:

well today wasn't bad,Riley fell asleep on the way there so I stayed in the truck with her while she slept..and my mom was out of there in 10 minutes. so it doesn't take too long to get it done,. its painful though she said. and its making her get stomach sick, or at least feeling like she is.. and they said that this will happen. but then again this is straight poison that is going on her skin and in her body so that is to be expected. I just hope that this treatment works,and soon. Tomorrow I will be bringing her again, for the last treatment this week,and start fresh again on Monday morning.

Week Two:

[Monday] Well On todays visit, Monday... she had to be there at 11:15am. And Riley and I waited for her between the truck and the office because Riley was having poop issues [lol] so we waited outside for a while.. and then we went back in and waited with the other million people in there......

and then my mother walked out, and she was beside the wall so I couldn't see her .. she asked Riley are you ready to go.. and Riley said yeah.. and then I saw something that made my throat feel like it was closing up and my heart was trying to push its way out...

My mother was in tears and in massive amounts of pain.. and that was the hardest thing to see so far. She said that the way that they made her lay was so painful and that they had to remark her again and a few other things and that it hurt so bad that she was in tears the whole time.. this was so hard for me to look at and listen too.

Wow so what a day. I just hope that tomorrow will be 100% better.

I will update tomorrow. I am not really feeling like talking now. thanks

[Tuesday]

well today wasn't nearly as bad as Monday. so thats good.

she went in and got her treatment, and some x rays. and they informed her that soon the right breast will be no longer there because the radiation will just basically evaporate the tissue of the right breast :(

so shes like. there are some things that you just dont wanna know and this is one of them.. i know how she feels.. i would feel the same way.

but she is a constant trooper and stays strong and keeps on going and for that I give her massive amounts of respect.. i don't think that I would be able to do what she is doing.

I will update later. thank you.

[wednesday]

well we go there.. and things went well. and thank goodness because I have been so drained lately that I don't think that I could handle any bad news or anything like that.

Riley decided to run around like a maniac, like usual.. and then go outside and pick pine cones off the tree.. and get all sticky.. what fun...

[thursady]

my mom skipped Thursdays treatments because she had like 4 other doctors appointments that day and it was jadens late arrival that day to school so it was so hard to find a time to get her there.. and so on..

[Friday]

we get there.. and my mom goes in b4 us because Riley takes so long to gather all her crap that she wants to take in... [lol]

anyhow.. we saw the fish... like usual... and then Riley runs by me and stinks to high hell.. and I said did you poop..? she says NO MOM GAS! lol.

some old ladies thought that this was sooooo funny! and then Riley goes MOM ME GAS STINKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

again thank you Riley for telling all of us that information!

anyhow.. things seem to be going well with the treatments.. only time will tell. and my mother thinks that its not really working, but then again what is it supposed to look like when its healing? we don't know because it never had a chance to heal.. so we wait.. and hope.. and wait.....

I will update when I know more. If I dont update every single day plz forgive me because I get so over tired that I cant type right 1/2 the time.[lol]