SOMETIMES I FEEL THAT NO ONE ELSE UNDERSTANDS WHAT I AM GOING THREW,EXCEPT MY BROTHER.HE DEALS WITH MY MOTHER DAILY BECAUSE HE LIVES WITH HER AND HE SEES THINGS THAT I DON'T SEE AND HEAR.I CANT MAKE THAT DIFFERENT,BUT ALL THAT I CAN DO IS BE THERE FOR MY MOTHER WHEN SHE NEEDS ME THERE. AND I WANT MY BROTHER TO KNOW THAT I AM HERE FOR HIM NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE..HERE... FOR HIM HES MY BROTHER AND I LOVE HIM TO DEATH AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HIM TO PROTECT AND TAKE CARE OF HIM.
LIKE MY BROTHER MENTIONED IN A BULLETIN THAT HE POSTED, WATCHING MY MOTHER DIE IN FRONT OF MY EYES IS KILLER. THIS IS SOMETHING THAT I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE IN WORDS NOR OUT LOUD. I THINK ABOUT THIS 24 HOURS A DAY 7 DAYS A WEEK. SINCE I MOVED BACK TO OHIO ALL THAT I HAVE SEEN IS MY MOTHER deteriorate IN FRONT OF MY EYES. AND THAT IS THE HARDEST THING IN THE WORLD TO DEAL WITH.
I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND THE PAIN THAT SHE IS DEALING WITH DAY IN AND DAY OUT. NIGHT AFTER NIGHT.
I CANT TAKE THAT PAIN AWAY FROM HER.
I CANT TAKE THE CANCER AWAY FROM HER.
I CANT TAKE THE GUILT AWAY FROM HER.
I CANT TAKE BACK ALL THE WRONG THAT I HAVE DONE.
I FEEL SO BAD THAT THERE ISN'T ANYTHING THAT I COULD DO TO HELP HER. I TAKE HER TO THE DOCTORS AND WHERE SHE NEEDS TO GO,I LEND HER MONEY IF SHE NEEDS IT, I DO WHAT I CAN TO HELP HER OUT.
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN TO MY DAUGHTERS THAT THEIR GRANDMOTHER MAY NOT BE HERE MUCH LONGER. AND THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE WAS LIKE BEFORE CANCER. I WISH THAT THEY KNEW WHAT SHE WAS LIKE AND LOOKED LIKE BEFORE THE CANCER TOOK OVER.
I FEEL THAT ME AND MOTHER HAVE BEEN WAY CLOSER THAN EVER. EVER SINCE SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE HAD CANCER AGAIN MY HEART BROKE. I WAS SO UPSET THAT WHATEVER MY FATHER AND STEPMOTHER TOLD ME DIDN'T REALLY HAVE ANY MEANING BECAUSE THIS IS MY MOTHER AND NO ONE CAN TELL ME ANYTHING THAT I HAVEN'T HEARD BEFORE YOU KNOW. I KNOW THAT MY FATHER WENT THREW HIS MOM DYING FROM CANCER AND MY STEPMOTHER WENT THREW HER PARENTS BOTH DYING BUT I FELT LIKE THIS IS / WAS DIFFERENT. I GUESS ITS NOT BUT TO ME IT IS.
PEOPLE CAN SAY THAT THEY UNDERSTAND. THEY MAY HAVE BEEN THREW WHAT I AM GOING THREW NOW. BUT I HEAR THE WORDS THAT THEY SAY, ITS JUST TOO HARD TO COMPREHEND THATS ALL.
I CANT IMAGINE WHAT MY LIFE WILL BE LIKE WITHOUT MY MOTHER THERE.
WHERE WILL I GO WHEN I HAVE NOTHING TO DO DURING THE DAY AND NEED TO VENT TO SOMEONE AND GET A GOOD LAUGH? WHO WILL I CALL WHEN I NEED TO COMPLAIN ABOUT MY HECTIC LIFE HERE AND MY HUSBAND BEING AN ASS... WHO WILL I CONFIDE IN WHEN I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY? WHAT WILL I DO?
WHO WILL MY DAUGHTERS CALL GRAMA? YEAH THEY HAVE OTHER GRAM'S, BUT ITS NOT THE SAME. U KNOW.
WHAT WILL FAMILY FUNCTIONS BE LIKE? I WONT GO. I CANT BRING MYSELF TO CELEBRATE WITHOUT MY MOTHER BEING THERE. I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME IF MY MOM ISN'T THERE.
I NEVER KNEW HOW BIG OF AN IMPACT THIS WOULD HAVE ON ME, AND NOW IT FEELS LIKE ITS ALL HITTING ME AT ONCE, AND THIS HAS BEEN 3+ YEARS IN THE MAKING. AND IT FEELS LIKE ALL THE SHIT HAS NOW HIT THE FAN.
YEAH, SHE CAN GO ON FOR A FEW MORE YEARS LIKE THIS, AND THEN AGAIN SHE MAY NOT. WE HAVE BEEN 3+ ALMOST 4 YEARS NOW LIKE THIS... BUT FOR HOW LONG WILL SHE BE ABLE TO FIGHT THIS MONSTER?
HOW MUCH CAN ONE PERSON TOLERATE ALL THIS? HOW MUCH CAN HER BODY TOLERATE WITH ALL THE MEDICATIONS AND RADIATION AND CHEMOTHERAPY? HOW MUCH FAITH DOES SHE HAVE LEFT? HOW MUCH????
THERE ARE SO MANY QUESTIONS THAT WILL NEVER BE ANSWERED. SO MANY THINGS THAT WILL REMAIN UNKNOWN.
THE BOND THAT MY MOTHER AND MY DAUGHTERS HAVE CREATED IS SOMETHING THAT I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN. NO MATTER HOW MUCH RILEY AND JADEN DRIVE MY MOTHER CRAZY... SHE LOVES IT. SHE HAS GROWN TO EXPECT THEM ANNOYING HER AND PENNY AND MAKING A MESS AND DRIVING HER CRAZY WITH SPRAYING AIR FRESHENER AROUND AND EATING ALL HER COOKIES FROM THE COOKIE JAR AND SPRAYING MY MOTHER WITH THE WATER BOTTLE, AND PLAYING AARONS RECORDER FROM LIKE THE 3RD GRADE![LOL] THERE ARE SO MANY MEMORIES THAT THEY WILL HAVE AND THAT MAKES ME SO EXCITED. BECAUSE THE MEMORIES THAT I HAVE WITH MY GRANDMOTHERS THAT HAVE PASSED,,, ARE FEW AND FAR BETWEEN.
I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS HAS TO HAPPEN NOW. MY MOTHER IS ONLY 53 YEARS OLD AND IS DYING FROM CANCER. THIS SHIT ISN'T FUCKING FAIR GOD .. GOD DAMN IT! WHY HER? WHY US?> WHY ANYONE?
I HAVE NIGHTMARES EVERY SINGLE DAMN NIGHT THAT I GO TO MY MOTHERS HOUSE AND SHE ISN'T THERE. I FEAR THAT I WILL HAVE TO WALK IN TO HER HOUSE AND SEE HER THERE NOT BREATHING THAT THE CANCER HAS COMPLETELY TAKEN OVER AND TOOK HER AWAY FROM US. AND THAT IS SOMETHING THAT I DON'T WANT TO SEE.I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO DO IF I LOOSE HER. I DON'T HONESTLY KNOW.
-and on to my grandmother:
KNOWING THAT THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF MY GRANDMOTHERS SOON TO BE END OF HER LIFE IS JUST UNREAL. SHE IS DYING SLOWLY, AND SOME PEOPLE IN MY FAMILY THINK THAT SHE WILL JUST GET BETTER AND BE ALL GRAVY, AND THAT IS NOT GONNA HAPPEN. BECAUSE THIS IS THE END. WE JUST DONT KNOW WHEN WILL BE THE LAST TIME.
SHE IS IN THE HOSPITAL. SUFFERING. CANT BREATHE. CANT GET UP WITHOUT HELP. CANT BREATHE WITHOUT OXYGEN. CANT EAT WHAT SHE WANTS. CANT BE MOBILE. THIS IS THE HARDEST FOR HER.
EVEN THOUGH SHE HAS SO MANY ISSUES SHE STILL GETS UP AND GOES GROCERY SHOPPING AND DOES HER LAUNDRY AND SO ON.. AND NOW SHE CANT GET IN HER CAR AND DRIVE AWAY TO DO ANYTHING.
WHEN I SAW HER TODAY ON MOTHERS DAY.. SHE WAS LAYING IN BED.. AND BREATHING ON OXYGEN. HAVING TO GET HELP UP TO PEE, AND STRUGGLING TO BREATHE.. IT WAS JUST SAD. MY DAUGHTERS HAD TO SEE THAT TOO BUT JADEN COULD UNDERSTAND IT A LITTLE MORE THAN RILEY. POOR RILEY WILL NOT EVEN REMEMBER HER AND THAT IS THE SADDEST THING. I MEAN I WILL MAKE MY GRANDMOTHERS PRESENCE KNOWN TO HER AND TELL HER ALL ABOUT HER BUT THE BOND THAT THEY SHOULD HAVE HAD WILL NEVER BE THERE. AND THAT IS UPSETTING TO ME.
I MUST END THIS NOW BECAUSE I NEED TO GET RILEY TO SLEEP. AND I NEED SLEEP BECAUSE I HAVE TO TAKE MY MOTHER TO THE DOCS IN THE AM. THANK YOU ALL FOR LISTENING TO ME BABBLE. I NEEDED THAT./ THIS.
I LOVE ALL THE PEOPLE THAT LOVE ME.<3
TWO WEEKS MOVIE TRAILOR----> CLICK THERE!
I WATCHED A MOVIE THE OTHER DAY, IT WAS CALLED TWO WEEKS. IT WAS ON SHOW TIME, AND IT WAS ABOUT A MOTHER THAT HAD CANCER. THAT MOVIE TOUCHED ME SO MUCH IN SO MANY WAYS THAT I FELT LIKE I WAS IN THE MOVIE. TO SEE THE PAIN THAT THEY WENT THRU AND FELT.. IT WAS ME AND MY BROTHER AND FAMILY. IT WAS A SERIOUSLY TOUCHING MOVIE THAT SHOULD BE WATCHED BY EVERYONE. NO MATTER IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYONE IN YOUR FAMILY WITH CANCER.
[MOVIE INFO]
Los Angeles, CA – Writer and director Steve Stockman's feature film debut explores the moments that define life as a family ultimately learns to live through dying in Two Weeks, available on DVD September 18 from MGM Home Entertainment. When four siblings find themselves unexpectedly together for two weeks, forced to deal with the terminal illness of their beloved mother, they rediscover the deep love they have for one another and find laughter through tears. With powerful and moving performances by two-time Academy Award®-winning actress, Sally Field (Best Actress, Places In The Heart, Best Actress, Norm Rae), Ben Chaplin (Murder By Numbers, The Thin Red Line), Emmy Award®-nominated actor Thomas Cavanaugh ("Ed," "Love Monkey"), Julianne Nicholson (Kinsey, Little Black Book), Glenn Howerton (Must Love Dogs) and Clea DuVall (Zodiac), Two Weeks effortlessly shifts between humor and heartbreak while capturing the physical reality of a parent's death and its impact on the family.
The film mixes reflections on life and family from Anita Bergman (Field) while chronicling her children's day-to-day struggle to deal with her illness and impending death. As three brothers and one sister gather at the Bergman home for their mother'sfinal days, simmering tensions and unresolved familial problems explode, relationships are challenged, and each sibling must find their own way of coping with tragedy and each other.
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