.........blah...........

ugh.someone shoot me.
Current mood: bored

lately I have been feeling so overwhelmed and tired that its not even funny.

and I dont know how long I can keep up this god damn act.

Its killing me to talk to everyone and laugh and get along when all that i want to do is scream really loud and hide from everyone for just a little while and be alone.

The price of gas is fucking stupid and it takes about 70$ to fill my tank if Im lucky, and this damn driving to another city and back every day is killing me and poor riley hasnt had a damn nap in about a month at her normal time..

she isnt taking a nap until 5pm!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is so bad because she doesnt want to go back to sleep at night.. what a mess.

My mother has the gas cards, and I have had a total of two of them that is 1oo$ and the other day she called me to ask me if I took one.. and I said yes because I needed gas last week, and then shes like NO MORE.. I need them.. whoooa wait what? I NEED THEM.. theyre to give MY vehicle gas... since I am the one taking her there and home.. and my 16+gallon gas tank doesnt run on water or pee.. [i wish]

and what she said , well the way that she said it made me feel like crap because i dont want to say anything to make her mad.. but I need to have gas in my truck also..

ugh.

we finally got the ground leveled at my FIL house for the pool.alan did all the work sat. sun and monday. and then yesterday put up the pool. now we have to get someone to come and fill it if thats not gonna cost an arm and a leg to fill.. its way faster than the hose,and the chemicals will already be in there. so that is a +.

i wish that we would get that stimulus check, because I need to pay off riley and jadens doctors bills, before they send them to collections,,,, yay..what fun that will be. I am so behind on that.

I havent done all the usual things that I do on a normal daily basis since I started taking my mother to radiation. Its crazy. I know that I need not to complain, but its strainging on me too, and everything that I do and come in contact with, and thats not good.

this is week number 4, so this week and then 2 more weeks and then things should go back to normal I HOPE.

my allergies are a damn mess! i am sneezing like a fool, and coughing and my eyes are so damn itchy that I can hardly see 1/2 the time.